Numerizing these, because I’m sure there will be more.
As we know, dogs definitely play games with each other. And, often they invent the rules. Here’s a current, embarrassing (for my dog) game he plays with his small, fluffy gal pal.
Necessary supplies: Two yummy, long-lasting chews or stuffed, frozen Kongs.
Object: Tease each other to no end and try to steal each others toys without directly intimidating or harming one another.
Recommended for: No one, especially aggressive, toy/food aggressive dogs. (I don’t even want to imagine.)
Who laughs hysterically every time these two particular dogs play this: Sadly, me.
Why? Because the rules are:
- Whatever you have is not as interesting as whatever the other one has.
- Must not let the other know that you are secretly coveting and calculating how you will attempt to snatch away the item.
- Bonus Points are awarded for the ability to snatch the other’s item and quickly return to your own and sit on it so that you have one to tease with and one to hide.
- Chew the one item you were given (that you normally couldn’t give a **** about) as though it was what was on your Christmas list, delivered personally by Santa. This is to capture the attention of the other and develop a heightened demand.
- If you fall for the first strategy and it is obvious that it worked on you, just admit it and go ahead and abandon your own item. Walk straight over and openly stare (from a safe-enough distance) at the one who is currently winning. Stare hard, don’t blink, and will the other one to give it up. Sometimes it works; the other one gets bored of being the champion.
THE single best strategy when you are hideously losing thus far:
- Stop chewing. Stand up and act as bored as a DMV employee and casually walk to the front door. Out of the blue, deliver the most shockingly, loud outburst of a bark as possible and begin to scratch at the front door. The poor, unsuspecting victim will suddenly rise and run to the door with you thus allowing you the advantage of knowing that you will dash back to their/HER bed and greedily snatch and openly, furiously, and cruelly chew on the coveted toy to upset your opponent so badly that they can’t think straight enough to understand that the process will work equally as well on the offender.
Note to originator of this amazing strategy, if you use this technique on me one more time in the middle of the night to Punk me out of bed for the purpose of letting you outside to use the restroom, only to turn around and run into the kitchen and paw at your food bowl because you’re having a snack attack (Hint: Your outfit DOES make you look chubby!), then I might decide to start playing that fun game where I pretend to throw balls into the bay for you to chase. Respect is a two-way road, Man.